Thanks fashion dudes
This anecdote is a bit old (3 weeks) but it is as true today as it was then:
I just got done blastin' my quads at the gym and I attempted to get on my bike. To straddle my bike I had to lift to my leg over the bike seat and the horizontal bar that forms the familiar triangle shape that we all associate with manly bikes. As I lift my leg over the bar my shorts tear apart right along the crotch. I mean a big ol' rip. I stood there in disbelief staring at the gigantic opening that revealed my groin. I was wearing underwear of course, but not boxers. Boxer briefs. When lifting weights I go in for the extra support boxer briefs provide and the insurance against wang hang-age I so sorely need. Who wants to be the guy whose sack is showing while doing sits up?
So I stand there with total crotch exposure and a fairly long bike ride home. I am not a big fan of riding around with tight crotch undies. It is also Game Day on campus so the streets are filled with people. I decided there was nothing I could do and get on my bike. I shake my head in disgust when I realize by pedaling I only exacerbate the situation. I feel decidedly "uncool." As I ride however, I start relaxing and realize that there are lot of people who intentionally look stupid. In fact, I have seen people wear outfits that are so torn even hobos would reject the clothes as "disutilitarian" (that word is a shout-out to the casual ninja.) I start riding with confidence. Tight crotch exposure is new look. I am "dude" with fashion sense. I am teenage fashion show.
I didn't receive a second look from anyone. Alternative fashion saved me from embarrassment.
I just got done blastin' my quads at the gym and I attempted to get on my bike. To straddle my bike I had to lift to my leg over the bike seat and the horizontal bar that forms the familiar triangle shape that we all associate with manly bikes. As I lift my leg over the bar my shorts tear apart right along the crotch. I mean a big ol' rip. I stood there in disbelief staring at the gigantic opening that revealed my groin. I was wearing underwear of course, but not boxers. Boxer briefs. When lifting weights I go in for the extra support boxer briefs provide and the insurance against wang hang-age I so sorely need. Who wants to be the guy whose sack is showing while doing sits up?
So I stand there with total crotch exposure and a fairly long bike ride home. I am not a big fan of riding around with tight crotch undies. It is also Game Day on campus so the streets are filled with people. I decided there was nothing I could do and get on my bike. I shake my head in disgust when I realize by pedaling I only exacerbate the situation. I feel decidedly "uncool." As I ride however, I start relaxing and realize that there are lot of people who intentionally look stupid. In fact, I have seen people wear outfits that are so torn even hobos would reject the clothes as "disutilitarian" (that word is a shout-out to the casual ninja.) I start riding with confidence. Tight crotch exposure is new look. I am "dude" with fashion sense. I am teenage fashion show.
I didn't receive a second look from anyone. Alternative fashion saved me from embarrassment.
posted by Old Stallion at 9:20 PM
1 Comments:
alternative teenage fashion indeed! at the bar a few months ago, one of my buddies looked around at the hundreds of intentionally and willfully uglified hipsters and noted that "you can't even tell who's a squirrelly dude anymore." you cannot indeed. if a pederast or a nerd or crispin hellion glover were walking among us on the outskirts of a college campus, they would be totally unnoticed and unnoticeable. if you filmed "revenge of the nerds" today, you'd have to recast it exactly backwards. this is a stupid state of affairs.
-team wolf
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