Hurricanes dont exist...but I still have gas

Hurricane Dennis was a no show. This is the second time New Orleans has caught Hurricane Fever--to no avail. For weeks the media brought the hype...how to prepare, what to expect, the dangers, and so on and so forth. But despite the wait and anticipation, not a god damn thing happens. Nothing. I walked around today and my farts caused more damage than any fucking "gale". Wooosh. Thats it. I think the wind wooshed through some leaves and cooled my warm testicles. Thats a hurricane? Sure, the "hurricane" killed a bunch a people in Haiti, but come on, mosquito bites kill people in Haiti. Force of nature? Morelike Farce of nature. Shit! I'm beginning to suspect hurricanes are like moon landings...they only exist as pictorial "evidence" supplied by government sanctioned outlets. I want destruction and a chance to loot! Don't I have a right to loot? I want to loot so bad!