I am a Player

It wasn't too long ago, I thought of myself as homeless and destitute (while maxin' in a heated pool in Florida). Now I have a home, and a job. My days are full of mad cap schemes and pluck. My heart glows with power as my healing factor expands outward to all the less fortunate of my ravaged city. I eat chef Boyardee out of a can, and nutri-grain bars for breakfast. I operate solo--no friends, no nothing. So last nights exchange at the bar was a chance for me to express my bad ass independence. I had just gotten off of work, and since this bar is on my way home, I like to stop by, have a beer, and watch whatever basketball game is on the T.V.

I stop in just for 15 minutes, or however long it takes to down a beer. Anyway as I sit at the bar, these two chicks go and sit in the two stools surrounding me and proceed to talk to each other as if I wasn't between them. I try to ignore them for awhile, (I'm too tired to think of anything smooth to say) but eventually one of them asks me what game I am watching. Sadly, all that was on the T.V. was football, and I don't give a rats ass about football (unless its the Huskers). So I respond "neither really, I just wanted a beer after work." She says, "where do you work." I say, "I wait tables... I don't mean to be rude, but I spend all day having to act friendly to people, and I don't have a refrigerator at home. I really just come here to have a beer and be left alone."
Her and her friend then both kind of just sit there looking at the wall and silently drink their beer. Its great. Two happy talkative girls, become morose and quiet. I sit between them drinking my beer, no longer pretending to watch the television. They awkwardly try to figure out a way to leave their seats without looking obviously put off. This awkwardness makes me smile, and then, when I realize that that see me smiling for no reason, I begin to laugh and smile even more.

Eventually they got up and started chatting up some other guys. I know guys are supposed to be all open to talking to chicks and what not, but christ, I didn't want to join in their dialogue or make witty japes. If they want to feel at ease with themselves, they should talk to Alf.