Let me tell you about the past two days:
A bee stung me. It hurt. My finger swelled up just a tiny a bit where he stung me. He stung me because I smashed him against my neck. He landed on the back of my neck and I felt him and smacked him. He stung me, and I realized he was not a fly but a bee. That was yesterday. Today I awoke and my finger was pretty big. But not too big. Bee stings aint shit.
Whilst reading outside out on the university’s green space I over heard one fat girl say to another fat girl, “Its like, muy hot out here”. That comment has bothered me more than the bee sting. “Muy hot” is pretty stupid. “Its like, muy hot” is unforgivably stupid.
The other stupid thing I heard I had to write down. Someone said this while presenting a thesis about the origins of grammar. To best appreciate the stupidity of this statement I should inform you that this was in a graduate level seminar, and the discussion was supposed to be centered upon a possible evolutionary theory for syntax. The student has had all semester to research this topic. When it became clear the presentation had to do with semantics and not syntax the professor clarified the distinction between the two and asked her if she could apply her argument to syntax. To this request the student responded:
“I didn’t really focus on the syntax and stuff, of you know, but more language and everything.”
Roughly translated this means:
“Not only can I not speak about syntax, I must speak in a way that shows I cannot even apply it. Further I need to add the empty phrase “and stuff” because I can’t be bothered to think before I open my mouth. I was too lazy to do any of the research I was required to do but I wont admit I am ignorant about something. I like to waste your time talking nonsense. I also like to hide my ignorance by shoving it in your face. I claim that while I didn’t focus upon syntax I focused upon language, which is comprised of both syntax and semantics. That makes sense. To top it off I will also claim that I focused upon everything. That’s right. It is impossible for me to answer some silly question about syntax, because I have already focused upon everything.”
Whilst reading outside out on the university’s green space I over heard one fat girl say to another fat girl, “Its like, muy hot out here”. That comment has bothered me more than the bee sting. “Muy hot” is pretty stupid. “Its like, muy hot” is unforgivably stupid.
The other stupid thing I heard I had to write down. Someone said this while presenting a thesis about the origins of grammar. To best appreciate the stupidity of this statement I should inform you that this was in a graduate level seminar, and the discussion was supposed to be centered upon a possible evolutionary theory for syntax. The student has had all semester to research this topic. When it became clear the presentation had to do with semantics and not syntax the professor clarified the distinction between the two and asked her if she could apply her argument to syntax. To this request the student responded:
“I didn’t really focus on the syntax and stuff, of you know, but more language and everything.”
Roughly translated this means:
“Not only can I not speak about syntax, I must speak in a way that shows I cannot even apply it. Further I need to add the empty phrase “and stuff” because I can’t be bothered to think before I open my mouth. I was too lazy to do any of the research I was required to do but I wont admit I am ignorant about something. I like to waste your time talking nonsense. I also like to hide my ignorance by shoving it in your face. I claim that while I didn’t focus upon syntax I focused upon language, which is comprised of both syntax and semantics. That makes sense. To top it off I will also claim that I focused upon everything. That’s right. It is impossible for me to answer some silly question about syntax, because I have already focused upon everything.”
posted by Old Stallion at 12:54 AM
3 Comments:
I've heard a lot of dumb shit in my conference traveling. I'm not even sure what the stupidest thing is anymore. But I do know that the kid arguing that the government's prosecution of snuff films was hypocritical because of the use of torture in interrogating prisoners was way, way the fuck up there.
Here's something unbelievably stupid courtesy of my dad's wife. My sister was telling her that she is thinking about going to nursing school (my dad's wife is a nurse), and was particularly interested in working with cancer patients. My dad's wife says, "I don't know about that. What if they find out, years down the road, that cancer is a virus and is contagious?" And she's a fucking nurse! This didn't really have anything to do with syntax or semantics, but it did have a lot to do with taxing antics. What a bonehead! (For anyone keeping score, my dad's wife is not my mother. Praise Jesus!)
What if they find out that retardation is a virus and is contagious? Then you're fucked, Dr. Mystery, that's what.
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