Sunday, November 27, 2005

Spinoza the bear


I am not a big man, nor even exceptionally brave. I am not driven and I have little ambition. I have never been incredibly successful, and I have often failed. Yet as I sit here drinking a beer and typing on a computer I am confident that I am missing out on nothing. I am a beast and I have no worries.
I think of a bear playing with a plastic ball at the zoo and I smile: I am like that bear. My life, is easy and comfortable. I need only a simple distraction to remove any boredom or sadness from my life. I hate sickness and pain, but I find pleasure in simply taking up space, and beating the shit out of things when I get angry. Even my anger fails to bother me: I am a bear, rising on my hind legs and taking some swings is what I do. If I did otherwise I wouldn't be a bear. I like sleep, I like swimming, and I have no interest in what the rest of the zoo is doing. I don't care about a damn thing, except my food, my territory, and perhaps when the time comes, my cubs. I don't look for justification: I am a fucking bear. That is it's own justification. I don't envy the elephant, the jackal, or the birds. They are what they are, and I am what I am.

"I am what I am"- both God and Popeye describe themselves in this way (Popeye says, "I yam what I yam" and God speaks in Hebrew, but what can I do? I type in proper english)
"I am what I am" is the expression of the divine. The expression of analytic necessity, the expression of self justification. There is joy in this expression. There is necessarily joy in this expression.

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