Buy more shorts: Rice says nations must fight climate change like terrorism

I found this "joke" on Jihad Watch. I like the hybridization of left wing anger at the government's inability to do anything about what they think to be critical issue of our time, and right wing anger at the government's incompetence at what they take to be the critical issue of our time. One thing we can all agree on: The current administration blows.
Here is the joke:


So says the Secretary of State in "Nations must fight climate change like terrorism, Rice says," from CNN. Let's see, that will mean:

1.) Being afraid to name the activities and people who are part of the problem.

2.) Insisting that only a tiny minority of vehicles on the road are belching greenhouse gases. Make no effort to verify for fear of offending motorists and car companies.

3.) Continuing to aid parties who pay lip service to helping, but do either nothing, or as little as possible in order to keep up appearances.

End Joke.
HA HA HA HOO!

1) Yom Kippur went down last weekend. I did the fast thing as usual, but this time I even made the trip out to a synagogue. I don't like the prayers but I do like to hear the shofar blow. I am not into spirituality and I certainly don't think Judaism presents an accurate portrayal of the world: I don't think there is a personal creator, a universal telos, or any judgment post death. That being said, there is often wisdom in the prescriptions of the ancients. So I like fasting. I think it is good to be uncomfortable. To exercise some will and get a little light headed and weak. To do this while focusing upon your short comings...its great. Yom Kippur is also fairly emotional for me. I think of my friend who was killed on this day and I think of how he was killed. All the Yom Kippur liturgy is about the book of life and the mercy of god...and I keep thinking "bullshit." So anyway I walked to the synagogue feeling kind of dizzy and contemplative. To get to the synagogue I had to walk through several beer pong games, barbecues, and sand volleyball parties. The city is having a party, the football team is going to win and life goes on.

2) A political rally went down. The kids are protesting the presence of Halliburton on campus. The kids are all riled up. I walk past the protest with Kylie Minogue's "Can't get you outta my head" playing on my Ipod.

Sesame Streets

Martin Scorceses Sesame Streets - Watch more free videos

Get Outta My Dreams (and into my car)-an analysis in three parts (Part one)

I am trying hard to make sense of the lyrical richness in Billy Ocean’s “Get Outta My Dreams (and into my car)." I lean towards the view that in this song Mr. Ocean presents a Heideggerian conception of man/artifact/world combined with a Buber-like exposition of “I and Thou.” I will present this interpretation in the upcoming weeks. For now I merely present the music video that Mr. Ocean selected to accompany his masterpiece. This video presents its own set of interpretive problems: I am not certain if the roller-skating duck is supposed to highlight the non-representational content of his music (i.e. to remind the listener not confuse his finger popping beats with the significance of his lyrics) or if the duck is indicative the mental retardation of Mr. Ocean himself:

In the video:
1) Mr. Ocean tries to pick up a prostitute
2) Mr. Ocean goes through a carwash with a car of diverse forms and colors
3) Mr. Ocean breaths and sings under water
4) Mr. Ocean has a kick ass time
5) Mr. Ocean sees a duck
6) Mr. Ocean races his car against a duck with a boom box
7) Mr. Ocean has a great time
8) Mr. Ocean watches a movie of Mr. Ocean singing to a duck with a saxophone
8) The movie version of Mr. Ocean emerges from the movie to become a real life Mr. Ocean. Mr. Ocean watches this and thinks it to be awesome.

Physical Comedy

There are ten seconds in this video that justify:
There is a guy in a teddy bear outfit that gets hurt. 1:15
There is a guy in a giant inflatable T-rex outfit who falls on his ass. 1:10



I don't think I will ever tire of the T-Rex falling down.

Solidarity!

Hoop Dreams.

I am never going to SLAM DUNK a basketball into a regulation hoop. Its true. I have finally accepted this because I have finally turned 30. No one has increased their vertical leaping ability after thirty. Hanging on the rim is the closest I ever got. It’s the closest I ever will get. This fact hits hard. See, as a kid I was late bloomer: I was the shortest kid and the skinniest kid. I didn’t hit puberty until late in the game. I think this was a biological act of brilliance on my part: The world was totally unprepared for the intense testosterone fueled adult that was to emerge from my prepubescent form. If I would of busted full grown at 16, I think the government might of come up with some way to try to control me. As it was, I snuck up on them. They were all, “Our brain washing has worked! Everyone today is a complete and total sissy. We don’t have to worry about any badass showing up and doing his own thing. We don't have to brainwash anymore. These teens are so into their “Rico Suave” they pose no threat at all” And then I was all, “I guess I should follow authority... Wait a second, I'm getting hairy armpits! I don’t have to listen to anyone. I am going to do my own thing. Yeah!”
The thing is, I always assumed that doing my own thing would involve doing tomahawk jams from the free throw line. Never happened. I never threw down a double pumped two-handed power jam in traffic. I never even busted loose a 360 degree windmill behind the back finish to an ally-oop. I kept waiting for another growth spurt or some divine gift of increased coordination and athletic ability. It never happened. In a very significant sense, a childhood dream has died.

I can only thank god that my dream of touching a boob came true.

Mr. Fantastic!

BILLY OCEAN YOUR MUTHA!

This was my favorite song when I was seven. The video is beyond awesome. Bllly Ocean forced dozens of musicians to go on stage and replicate his synthesized sound. Then he forced Hollywood hooligans to dance around in white tuxedos. Amazingly these are the same hooligans who stared in the movie that Billy wanted to splice into his live show! I'm telling you, nothing could get in the way of the physical manifestation of Billy's unadulterated artistic vision. Straight from his mighty mind's eye flows awe.

GAGS 4 LIFE

Hey friends!
Sorry about the trickery of promising a post and then failing to deliver. It is one of the oldest gags in the book: The old breaking one’s word gag.

Try it out next time you are with a loved one! Take them to a fancy dinner. At some point in the meal, excuse yourself to the restroom. Say something like, “Excuse me, lover. I have to take a shit. I’ll be right back.” Give your lover a sexy look as you walk towards the bathroom.

Then, never come back. Head home! Ignore the phone! Watch some cartoons! When your lover returns, the laffs will ensue.