More laffs:

Did Billy take over for the production of this comic?

After a couple political posts, it is time for something delightful:

The joke here is that the fish is wearing a baseball hat even though he is playing soccer.

Last political post for awhile.

I have had a few discussions with friends about the link between anti-consumerism and anti-Israel thinking. The title of this post links to a fairly cheesy power point presentation about the supposed globalism/zionism connection. I do not accept all of the claims suggested in this presentation, and I am always leery of "go out and change the world" propaganda, but overall I do think its worth looking at.

Prof. Passion mounts a pedestal:

If you don't buy the claim that "taxation is slavery" then you shouldn't buy the claim that christian fundamentalism is the same monster as Islamic fundamentalism.

Click on title for more cartoon bullshit

My Cup Runneth Over

Everything keeps coming up Schneider. Anywhere your gaze may fall you will find another indicator of my winning ways. Animals scurry, and the birds they tweet. The sky, blue in it’s enormity hums with the warmth of background radiation. Soda cans litter the earth proclaiming a serving size and a “best when used by”. Dirty children play with a dog named, “Chewy”. How can I lose?

Three Jokes

Joke #1:
A ghost walks into a party. The host says, “hey ghost, want some beer?” The ghost says, “No, I don’t want a beer and you kids shouldn’t be drinking”
The host says, “Fuck you… ghost dad”.


Joke #2:
Two fish are swimming in a lake. The bigger fish, starts telling the little fish a long boring story. The little fish says to the bigger fish, “Hey! I have bigger fish to fry”
The bigger fish takes this threat personally and kills the little fish.

Joke #3
A woman walks into a bar carrying a pig. The bartender tells her, “You can’t come in here with that duck!” The woman says to the bartender, “Its not a duck you moron, it’s a pig.” The bartender says, “I was talking to the duck!”

This song is Bananas

There is a song by the No Doubt chick about Bananas. The song is called "holla back girl" and I guess it is pretty old. I heard this song in the gym. In the song there is a shout out to bananas. I thought that this was a phallic metaphor: Bananas refering to the love noodle. The ninja says the song is about cheerleaders. I think she is probably right. Here is the song in all its glory:

Holla Back Girl - Gwen Stefani
Uh huh,this my shit
All the girls stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl
I ain't no holla back girl
[2x]


ooh, this my shit , this my shit [x4]

I heard that you were talking shit
And you didn't think that I would hear it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up

A few times I've been around that track
So it´s not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl
I ain't no holla back girl
[2x]

ooh, this my shit , this my shit [x4]

So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us wanna be the winner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust

A few times I've been around that track
So it´s not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl
I ain't no holla back girl
[2x]

ooh this my shit, this my shit [x4]

let me hear you say this shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s

this shit is bananas
b-a-n-a-n-a-s

again, shit is bananas
b-a-n-a-n-a-s


This shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S


few times I've been around that track
so it´s not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl
I ain't no holla back girl
[2x]

ooh, this my shit , this my shit 4)x

Reading this song makes me incredibly happy. A retard wrote this, no? My favorite line, aside from all the banana spelling, is the phrase, "thats right, dude".

Oak Street Cafe

I switched coffee houses a few weeks ago. The place I go to now is more an old school cafe than a coffee house. They're open from 6 to 6 and serve donuts, po-boys, eggs, and coffee. Its a great place. They have swing music on the stereo, and its a sunny and well lit. Today some dude played on a piano and sang New Orleans standards. Its got a multi ethnic, and multi-class sort of feel, and I think that confuses the employees. The customers are often black, arabic, or white construction guys. The customers are also often professional men and women. The customers however, are rarely hip kids. The employees are. The hip girl today at the counter had her rainbow colored hair dye job questioned by a business man. He told her he thought it was great that she dyed her hair like that for Mardi Gras. She replied that she always has it like that. He told her that she can't be serious. She insisted that she was:

Business guy: Why? nobody will take you seriously looking like that.
Coffee girl: I don't care I like it.
Business guy: It's not really flattering, I mean, why would you do that? It could only hurt your prospects.
Coffee girl: Well I like it.
Business guy: alright, but uh, okay.....(he looked puzzled as he left.)

This exchange made me happy. The hip girl gets to hear that somebody thinks her individuality is stupid. It is. A business guy gets to to hear that his concerns (looking "good", getting prospects) don't necessarily matter. They don't.
Everybody walks away wiser.

I am a bandito!

I am tough. Shit. People are all like, "Damn, I got to get out the way of that dude." I usually let them get out of my way. Sometimes, however, I grab them and say, "hey. you aren't moving fast enough." Then I laugh. I often step on bugs. People are bugs. I tried to step on this one dude, but he didn't squish under my weight. He was just like, "fuck, man. What the hell is wrong with you? Get off my foot." I got off of his foot and stepped on a flower. I smashed the shit out of that flower.

Cartoons

I was able to find all the Mohammed cartoons on blogs, and at internet encyclopedias. I still however think it is completely fucked that the mainstream news sources don't publish these images along with their published articles on the controversy. It is usually standard to include a pic of "hate graffiti", burning flags, and so on, that triggered the racial/political tensions de jour. For example, they print the offending poem that suggests the Jews where behind 9-11, they print the speech by Farrakhan that insults white folk, and they print the stupidity that comes out of Pat Robertson's mouth. The self-censorship in this instance really is toothless journalism. Embassies have been burnt, people have received death threats, and riots have been organized, ostensibly on account of these little cartoons and CNN and FOX News won't publish them. I realize they are just stupid cartoons, and this isn't a refusal to publish a Rushdie novel or anything, but shit, these "news sources" ought to show some solidarity with the editors who have been fired, and the newspapers who are being threatened.

Yeah, I am certainly not taking a new or original stance on this issue. I just think its a no brainer: Free Press should always be supported.

I want to read the offensive cartoons!

There is a big hubub about these editorial cartoons published in France and Denmark that mock Mohammed the prophet. A lot of people are really pissed about this. I read articles about the anger, but I can't find one with a reprint of the offending cartoons. If some one can find these cartoons please post the link. If you can't find them, I will become scared.